Hmmmmm….. I would really like to avoid this question. Well I am on my way.
Boot camp is becoming a regular part of my life 2-3 times a week
I have added to that 2 other work outs..zumba ….running with my crazy pooch
Meditation is not a regular part of my life yet but I am meditating for 10-20 minutes probably 5 times a week. I think the goal is 14 times, once in the morning and once in the afternoon 20 minutes minimum but who is counting.
I do notice a definite decrease in dark thinking when I meditate and I sleep so much deeper.
Eating….I would have to say is still very good. I like eating….I even like eating lighter. I love healthy food. I guess you could just say I love food especially when I am feeling fearful, frustrated and forlorn.
(better known as the three F’s)
I am not tracking the amount that goes in to my mouth and I am so reluctant to do this. It feels so not light, it feels dark and confining.
The scale is not telling me that I am getting lighter. I keep fluctuating between 2 pounds up, 2 pounds down. I guess you could say I am maintaining. Which if I was at the end of my weight loss journey that would be great but I am at the beginning. Something needs to give….. more on this to follow.
Yoga…2 times a week a round of sun salutations, It would be great to be doing more but …I will take this for now as a small triumph.
I work 40 hours, I am a mother of a seven year old, work with a couple of theatre companies. Consistency is so hard to come by but I am on the path to find out what a healthier lighter me looks and feels like… and then off on the path to help others find their way…
24 by August 15th …..Do I hear the sound of encouragement….maybe just a whisper
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Heart of It
Funny how a perfectly ridiculous thing can hit you over the head and send you reeling spinning way out of control way far off any track or path you may be headed down.
All this talk about the rapture really got to me. Maybe in a different way then you think. I started realizing my fear was increasing as the time grew near. I gripped on to what ever sanity I had left and whatever real belief in God that I had and it suddenly hit me this weight stuff is all about fear. The big fear, fear of losing myself. Losing myself and not getting to finish something fabulous something I alone was put here to do.
I don't see God in such a vengeful way. I can't believe that so much love would churn out so much hate and judgement. Call me crazy or just too darn liberal but I don't buy it. Global warming ... man made planet issues yep I can go there. Doomsday..this is not about God.
The little girl that was me so long ago, thought that if we got something good surely it was time for the end of the world. How messed up is that?
Here I will say it. I deserve good things. You deserve good things.
I don't have to be afraid.
A few weeks ago my son and I went to the book store and got 2 books by David Pilkey of Captain Underpants Fame. We went to a restaurant and he read one about a robot and I read the 1st Captain Underpants. We both chuckled as we read and ate our little dinners. It doesn't get much better than this.....
Fear sucks....Love is all around
All this talk about the rapture really got to me. Maybe in a different way then you think. I started realizing my fear was increasing as the time grew near. I gripped on to what ever sanity I had left and whatever real belief in God that I had and it suddenly hit me this weight stuff is all about fear. The big fear, fear of losing myself. Losing myself and not getting to finish something fabulous something I alone was put here to do.
I don't see God in such a vengeful way. I can't believe that so much love would churn out so much hate and judgement. Call me crazy or just too darn liberal but I don't buy it. Global warming ... man made planet issues yep I can go there. Doomsday..this is not about God.
The little girl that was me so long ago, thought that if we got something good surely it was time for the end of the world. How messed up is that?
Here I will say it. I deserve good things. You deserve good things.
I don't have to be afraid.
A few weeks ago my son and I went to the book store and got 2 books by David Pilkey of Captain Underpants Fame. We went to a restaurant and he read one about a robot and I read the 1st Captain Underpants. We both chuckled as we read and ate our little dinners. It doesn't get much better than this.....
Fear sucks....Love is all around
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Joni Mitchell with Cockroaches?
Ok so I have been having really strange dreams lately. I believe this to be a lightening up of my pyche. I dreamt I was having a wonderful conversation with Joni Mitchell on a beatiful blue lounging couch..she was speaking about her sadness over never having dated this actor I used to know in LA.
Well I was very pleased to have this connection with Joni Mitchell and couldn't wait to tell her that I in fact knew said actor and that I too was an artist. At this point thousands and I mean thousands of cockroaches every shape and size started crawling all over the place and I very politely suggested that Joni might want to get up from the couch..and yes then I woke up.
Another dream I had recently introduced me to the well known super hero
August Mask..He wore a orange helmet and a navy jumpsuit and he looked like a cartoon dog that you might see on Arthur...was he a good guy or bad?.. ..yes and then I woke up.
Things are really changing inside me they are lightening and darkening all at the same time. I soar and fall but things are changing all the same.
Well I was very pleased to have this connection with Joni Mitchell and couldn't wait to tell her that I in fact knew said actor and that I too was an artist. At this point thousands and I mean thousands of cockroaches every shape and size started crawling all over the place and I very politely suggested that Joni might want to get up from the couch..and yes then I woke up.
Another dream I had recently introduced me to the well known super hero
August Mask..He wore a orange helmet and a navy jumpsuit and he looked like a cartoon dog that you might see on Arthur...was he a good guy or bad?.. ..yes and then I woke up.
Things are really changing inside me they are lightening and darkening all at the same time. I soar and fall but things are changing all the same.
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