working through some heaviness

All right today I feel a little disappointed...ok more than a little, a gargantuan amount of disappointment.    I got on the scale today...eeeeek and I weigh the most I ever want to weigh..this after completing my 8th boot camp class.   I am sure some of it is muscle, water weight gain, inflammation but still ....  Yet I know that in order to reach one of my first goals which is 24 by August 15 I am going to have to take this let down lightly.    I am going to have to just keep moving forward.  Put a positive spin on it...but right now I just feel disappointed and honestly pissed off.

Next week I start keeping track of my food in an effort to lighten up the amount I am eating.
I can't help thinkin I will have big expectations of immediate results.  Perhaps the scale should stay away until May 29th .  More on this in some other post.

I am going to repeat this week in the Chopra book.   I didn't make time to read the chapter completely and am slipping a little with the other suggestions from chapter 1-4.   A week of review should be helpful.

This weekend I am going to clean out my side room.  Bring all not needed stuff to Good Will.  

I find myself full of dark thoughts apocalyptic at night but the meditating is sorta helping that while the weather reeks havoc.   Breathe and everything changes.   Energy Transformation Intelligence.

I breathe and take a moment to remember to feel gratitude and pat myself on the back for venturing out on this new path. 

April 26th - A month or so into the journey

Since my last post I have been diving into the pool of light and am coming up bathed in a feeling of triumph!

I am in week 5 of the program from the Deepak Chopra book.  I have started boot camp classes MWF mornings. This is week 2.   

The program from the book is all about changes (In perception, time, and habits) that contribute to my personal well being and that makes me feel much lighter.  Before I would look at this book, think it was wonderful...become overwhelmed by initiating all of this change and put it back in the shelf feeling really guilty and useless.

But now I am taking one chapter at a time.  I am on chapter # 5 , only one chapter a week it is all right to go slow and allow this change in a bit at a time.

One of the changes from chapter 2 is that  I am meditating just a little every am and pm...this is not easy.  My mind is so active ......but i am just beginning to imagine watching those thoughts and letting them go.  Lighter ever lighter.

Boot camp is  all about that goal of loosing weight ... It took sometime to put it on they say well you know the rest.   I feel lighter just knowing I can do it at 5:30 in the am and survive...baby steps ugggggh....

Breathe and everything changes... Breathe and everything changes. 

I have a goal of helping people I have decided I am my first client... It really feels great to be on this journey.